Bringing in the New Year

My body has been going through all sorts of changes lately. One thing I've noticed is that my back has been aching quite often.  I realized that I've been slouching more than normal.  When I was bigger my stomach literally held up my spine and the upper half of my body.  I felt propped up by all the fat.  Now without as much stomach my torso feels weird.  Like I could just fold in half at the waist and that would be more comfortable.  I have to re-learn how to sit properly.  I find myself wondering what to do with my hands, and my shoulders droop because now my arms aren't resting on my stomach. When I sleep on my side at night, it's like my rib cage folds in on itself and I get terrible aches in my ribs.  Who knew losing weight would be painful?

The sad part is, is that now my back is aching all the time!  I plan on going to either a walk-in clinic next week (New Years + Weekend , means no places are open except for Emergency) or trying to make a doctors appointment for sometime in the next few weeks.  I keep getting tingling in my arms and my left foot and leg.  It could have something to do with my back being achy or maybe not.  Best to get it checked out.  I also had a wicked foot cramp at work on Boxing day, so bad that my toes where all splayed in different directions and my foot still aches and feels like it wants to cramp up to this day.  Not very much fun at all!

I know my body really dislikes the cold.  With the more weight I lose, the more and more cold I feel.  With the cold snap we had I had a really hard time keeping warm, especially my hands and feet.  I would have a hot shower and after getting out my feet still ached from the cold.  This never happened when I was bigger, so maybe it's because I've lost some insulation?

No sense in trying to figure out what it can be on my own.  I will just have to wait and see what a doctor says later in the week and in the mean time, eat healthily and drink lots of water.   Needless to say, I haven't been able to run at all.  I really don't want to run on a foot that is tingling and feels like it wants to cramp up. However, after going to bed early last night and sleeping in this morning I find that I feel much better.  I walked around the mall for a bit and I'm starting to feel a lot better.  If I still feel fine by supper, maybe I'll sneak in a run.

My morning breakfast lately.  I picked up almond butter from Safeway.  I'm totally addicted to nut and seed butters! When this is done, I want to try cashew butter.

Today was the first day that I've slept in, in weeks!  Usually I'm up by 7AM, but today I kept hitting snooze and slept in until 8:30!  Usually I hate sleeping in, but it doesn't feel too bad in the winter time.  I was still up before the sun was!  I did a really great job of lounging around the house and by 10 I was absolutely bored.  Go figures, my first day home alone in ages and I'm bored before noon!

I had decided that today I was going to go to the mall and buy some sale jeans.  Later in the week a few of us are heading to Calgary to go wedding dress shopping with my sister-in-law.  I only have one pair of jeans that fit properly, so I wanted one extra pair so I didn't have to suffer from saggy-bottom-itis for most of my time there! The mall didn't open until noon so I puttered around the house doing laundry and and other odds and ends and still ended up leaving the house just a little after 11!

Once the mall opened I went right to Ricki's, I get their emails and knew they where still having boxing week sales.  I also had a birthday coupon that I wanted to use.  I ended up getting a pair of dark blue jeans, a red sweater and two white cami's for only $86!  I saved over $50 by going in today, when she told me the total I really had to resist buying more!  There's not much point though, I shrink out of clothes too quickly to buy too many at once.

Can you believe, the sweater is an XL!! I know it's a knit, so it stretches and fits bigger, but still, it wasn't an XXL which is what I normally wear there (if the XXL even fits!).  I was quite pleased.

Afterwards I went to David's Tea to pick up some loose leaf tea for my new teapot that I got for Christmas. I told the lady that I was looking for "something with no caffeine and spicy like Chai Tea".  So she handed me caffeine free Chai Tea! I haven't tried it yet, but I can't wait!  I will probably have a cup tonight after supper.

The past little while I've been trying to avoid sweeteners (like Sucrolose, Aspartame etc).  Not totally, but it's  something I want to have less-regularly in my diet.  I still have the occasional diet-caffeine free soda as a "treat" but tea has been a really great (and surprising) alternative. I usually have it with no sweeteners or sugar at all now.  It's tough kicking out sweeteners out of your diet, however.  Aspartame is everywhere! In gum, yogurt, all sorts of stuff have additives.  Even "healthy" stuff.  I try to go by the rule of not buying anything that has ingredients that I can't pronounce, but sometimes the lower calories win over the no-additive alternative.

I was checking out and updating my Spark Page the other day, and I came across my weight loss ticker and wanted to show it.  I usually only focus on the next 2lbs, so to see the ticker moved so far to the right was pretty cool to see!  The last time I actually looked at it, I was at about 70lbs lost, so it was still on the left.

I've set another mini goal. I want to get under 100kgs!  It's a big deal to go from 3-digit weight number to a 2-digit number.  It's equivalent to 218lbs, so I have about 5 lbs to go to be under 100kg.  Not far off now!  After that my goal will be 200lbs, because then I'll have a BMI of 29.5 and be considered just "overweight" instead of that other ugly word (obese).

Today was weigh in day.  To be honest I was a bit afraid of what the scale would say.  I haven't been able to run all week and I know I've gone over on my calories.  I'm happy to say that my weight stayed exactly the same!  I'm not sure how I pulled it off, but I'm happy!  Maybe my intuitive eating did much better than I thought?  I'm not going to complain, most people gain weight over the holidays and I didn't gain a single pound.  Victory!

So I wanted to leave you all with a thought.  This is something that I've been saying over and over to other people.  I think that most people who have lost significant amounts of weight would agree.  Weight loss isn't about restriction, weight loss is about figuring out and understanding your body.  This body that was given to you, and you alone.  Only you understand your body and it's quirks.  Learn and understand your cravings, your desires.  Embrace what is you and love it.  Indulge yourself.  If you love food, then have food, have food wisely.

I absolutely love pizza, chips, burgers, fries, steak and all sorts of food that can be "bad".  I know that about myself and I have chosen to embrace it and accept it.  I am not weak because I love pizza and just because I eat chocolate doesn't mean that I have no willpower.  It just means that I like food!

I now know when I want to binge, and when I can safely eat these foods. If I am having a craving for burgers, then I will make turkey burgers.  If I'm craving pizza, then I'll make tortilla pizzas.  If I want some wine, then I'll re-arrange my calories so I can have wine.  Living healthy doesn't mean restricting and eating only gross salads, or un-filling shakes or microwave foods.  It means finding out who you are, what you like, and making that person the best they can be.

Happy New Years folks!