Morning sickness and food cravings!

Thanks everyone for your well wishes!  This past week has been slow, but very good.  After my Obstetrician appointment last Friday I started getting twitches in my left food and leg and had to rest for most of this whole week.  I'm usually good if I rest for a few days, and then only run one small errand, then rest again.  Otherwise it's like my left side gets too "worked up" and I get twitches that are very annoying.

On Monday morning we headed to the hospital for more blood work and tried to rest for most of the day afterwards.  Tuesday morning we headed back to the hospital for the x-rays on my left foot.  Normally I would have done both in one day, but I needed to rest in between.  

Getting the X-rays done was interesting! They covered me in one large lead blanket, then had a lead board by my butt, and another circular shaped one that hooked around my leg to catch areas the other two missed.  They meant business! 

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It's very interesting getting pregnancy cravings, food aversions and morning sickness.  I've decided that the food aversions and cravings are directly related to the morning sickness.  When I take my prescription for morning sickness I feel perfectly fine and have no cravings and no aversions.  But if I don't take it, I feel like I have to eat every hour or I'll starve!  When I do eat, it was only certain foods.  Carbs of any kind I could eat and anything dairy.  I loved yogurt, ice cream, frozen yogurt, ice cream bars.. you name it and I wanted it!

How I feel when I haven't eaten for two hours...

I don't really like taking medication while pregnant, but this stuff is supposed to be 100% safe and if it keeps me from eating the entire fridge then I'm game! 

I was pretty happy that I hadn't gained any weight, but of course this week I gained 2lbs immediately and now I have a little belly showing!  I'm not concerned at all, gaining 2 lbs actually puts me right on par for weight gain.  I think it's normal to gain 1-5 lbs in the first trimester.

I've been craving fruit like crazy.  Dan surprised me with this snack one afternoon!  I had no idea he knew how to do that with apples!  He is an apple wizard!

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Now I'm able to sit at the computer for much longer than I could even a month ago, so I'm hoping I'll be posting more often.  I'm still battling morning sickness and I'm still unable to exercise, and of course I can't lose weight so of course this makes a weight loss blog kinda lame!

What I hope to do is still get out healthier recipes, and to talk about fitness when I can during pregnancy and such.  I just need to start feeling better and get my head wrapped around all of this!

So far I have learned something about pregnancy.  It's very very easy to feel okay eating bad food.  Very early on when you have morning sickness it's really easy to eat carbs and salty foods, and it's easy to keep that going.  I did not want to eat a single vegetable!  I wanted to vomit at the thought of steamed broccoli! I have learned that I have to keep the fridge bursting with fresh foods, especially fruits since they're easiest for me to eat right now.  I find when my fridge and cupboards get bare, it's easy to open a box of crackers and eat crackers and cheese or just bread instead of something that could be more nutritious.  Dan has been coming home almost every day from work with new groceries!

Some more great news! My Mom is taking me baby shopping on Monday!  We're going window shopping and she's going to tell me what's what since I'm a pretty big baby newb.  She asked me what kind of bottles I wanted to use, and I said, "there are different kinds?"  Yes, my Mom never stops being a Mom.  Even when her kid becomes one!

After window shopping she is taking me to Micheals to pick out yarn so I can start crocheting a baby blanket.  I'm pretty slow at crocheting so I'm getting a start now.

I think I felt a lot of dread about this pregnancy until I had my OB appointment.  After my doctor told me to, "enjoy it while it lasts" I just waited for the end.  I hoped that if I was going to have a miscarriage that I had it soon, because I figured the earlier it was the easier it would be.  Now that I saw the baby jump around I'm much more excited and less scared!  I find myself looking at patterns on Pinterest, and looking at different furniture to put into the nursery.  I'm ready to pack up one of our offices and to start decorating already!

I have to keep one thing in mind.  As much as I hate morning sickness, cravings and food aversions.. it means that we have created something wonderful.  I mean, I never thought I would have a baby.  I convinced myself it was impossible. I figured that if I convinced myself that it was impossible, that when I didn't get pregnant I wouldn't be hurt.  I'm not saying this is a miracle baby, but I'm still in absolute shock.  Shock isn't even a big enough word.

Expecting!

Some of you may remember that I started taking fertility medication mid-December.  If you remember that, then you might remember that I was plagued with OHSS (ovarian-hyper stimulation syndrome) as well.  OHSS makes you balloon up, gain extra pounds, makes it physically hurt to eat, and you're incredibly nauseous.  I had a few people ask me, "are you pregnant?!".  Well at the time, no I wasn't.  OHSS can hit anyone who takes fertility medication, whether they are pregnant or not.  A few days after the OHSS started I looked at my fertility chart and noticed I was 11 days passed my ovulation date (you bet I tracked everything!).  I knew it was technically too early to take a test, but I decided to any ways.  I figured I might get lucky.

Well get lucky I did!  I got a positive on January 12th of this year.  I took another one the next day to be sure, and the line was much darker the next day!  It just so happened that I had a doctors appointment that day to discuss my fertility medicaton and to talk about upping the dosage.  Instead the discussion turned to beta tests to check for HCG, due dates etc.  My family doctor was really shocked that I was pregnant and a little concerned.  He said to me, "don't take this the wrong way, but enjoy it while it lasts."  Ever since I've been waiting for the floor to drop out from under us.

I had two blood tests done to confirm pregnancy and I was placed at "just about 5 weeks".  Later the following week I started getting lots of blood loss for about two weeks straight.  Followed by extreme cramping, and excruciating pain.  We rushed to the ER, and eventually had more blood work done and told to come back if it happens again.

At 6 weeks we had an ultrasound to check on our little bean and see how things where going under such stress. (The ER didn't have an ultrasound machine! What the heck?!)  The tech took lots of time, lots of photos and eventually called Dan into the room.  She spent some time pointing out different parts of my body, and eventually zoomed in on this teeny tiny little blob with a flashing heartbeat.  It was such a relief to see it be okay, and alive!

Today was my first appointment with my new Obstetrician, a lovely and sweet Russian lady.  We went through a normal check up, and lots of questions.  She then pulled out a Doppler and we heard the heartbeat for the first time! I loud Whoosh Whoosh Whoosh!!  She also had a handheld ultrasound machine, it looked like a large flip phone.  She found the baby, which is much bigger than a blob now.  It had a distinct head, arms and legs and again a flashing heartbeat!  She would move the ultrasound wand around and the baby would jump around every time.

Now I'm worried about the nerve issues I'm having while pregnant, and the twitching and spasming that I'm getting on my left side.  It's not pregnancy related, and I'm worried that pregnancy and weight gain will make it worse.  So far I've had some morning sickness starting about two weeks ago (and wonderful medication to help), and just some cramping.

So now you guys know the real reason why I'm in maintenance mode!  I'm happy to say that I am sitting exactly at my pre-pregnancy weight still (fluctuating around 222-224lbs consistently), and my weight wasn't discussed at all during the exam.

I still feel like the floor is going to be yanked out from under us.  I mean, how many people with fertility problems get pregnant the first try?!  I owe a lot of thanks to the book "Taking charge of your fertility", for without that book I probably wouldn't be pregnant.

Needless to say, this is surreal.  I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to ever be a Mom.(Funny note, my spell-check doesn't recognize "Mom" as a word!)  That my body was a wreck, I had ruined it somehow.   I still wont believe it's real until I see my baby, but for now I choose to be happy!

Some other fantastic news, I hit over 10 000 page views yesterday!  Thanks everyone for following me through all of this utter crap!

Now I'm off to snuggle with Dan, and dream of baby names.

More tests and hoops..

This past weekend was supposed to be very liberating.  Saturday was my first day back to work in over a month, and my Dad was visiting for the weekend too.  At first work went really great, it was only a 3 hour shift to get me back into the groove of work and I was pretty confident that I could do it.  The whole week prior I had been out of the house almost every day, running errands, going to the mall and light grocery shopping.  I thought for sure that a measly 3 hour shift would be okay.  

Work started out pretty good. I was light on my feet, chatting with customers and having a great time.  I loved it!  Just over an hour in I started to feel pressure in my left foot (the foot with all the issues).  I ended up taking over 45 minutes in breaks in the 3 hour shift.  Once my shift was done I hobbled out to my car and I could feel my toes starting to spasm and I could barely walk into my house when I got home.  

A few hours later I felt better and I was asked to go to the mall for a quick errand.  I thought I would be fine since I had rested and I had gone to the mall several times that week already.  About 20 minutes in I had to head out to my car and when I got home my foot was spasming so much that I started crying and it was very uncomfortable to walk.  Like my foot wanted to contort into weird shapes.  It didn't hurt though until much later.

The whole night I laid on the couch with my leg propped up, and watched as my toes wiggled and twitched all on their own.  Every once in awhile my leg would twitch too.  About 6 hours later I went up to bed and could barely make it up the stairs to my room.  

I got into see my family doctors Locum on Tuesday, and he took me off of work for 2 months.  I have blood tests to do, x-rays of my foot and an MRI of my brain this fall.  I've had several people throw out names like Multiple Sclerosis (I've heard that one lots), Guillian-Barre Syndrome(GBS), Lupus and others.  This will be the 5th blood test I've had since the middle of January, all I want is answers.

The Locum asked me why I didn't just quit my job.  That scared me, should I quit my job?  I just want to know what's going on!  I love my job, and I've missed it so much.  I've worked there off and on since 2005, I really don't want to quit now.  I don't want to be a nuisance to them either.  I bought them all gift cards as a way of saying thanks for taking over my shifts, thank goodness I'm only part-time!

Today I had a Physiotherapy appointment and was the first day since Saturday that I felt better about leaving the house.  I told him what happened and he was pretty concerned.  He checked a nerve (nerves?) that go from my foot and up to my brain.  He had me lay on my back while he lifted my leg, then he had me touch my chin to my chest and told him where I felt any pain, or resistance.  Then he did my other side.  The side where I have issues with my foot was very tight and he said my nerves needed flossing.  He did a bit while I was there, and showed me how I could do it on my own at home.  He hoped that would help me out in the long run.

By the end of February I was feeling fantastic, I was able to go out and about, and finally able to do simple things like grocery shopping, errands, laundry etc.  All it took was one 3 hour shift and I was literally out for days.  When I went to my doctors appointment 3 days later, I had my mom come with me because I wasn't even sure if I could drive myself home after being out for so long. It's not fatigue I'm worried about, it's that my foot gets uncomfortable, and then it starts spasming and twitching, and it slowly goes up my leg if I don't get my shoes off and lie down immediately.

I have no idea what to do in the meantime, I'm back to not being able to go grocery shopping again.  I feel okay around the house doing small simple tasks like laundry, but that's all.  Even going to a half hour physio appointment was enough that I had to rest my foot and leg for awhile.

This isn't exactly a fantastic weight-loss blog anymore, is it?  I apologize! I need to get my brain in the right place.  I keep hitting setback after setback, and it's hard to stay on top of a weight-loss blog when you're life is no longer centred on weight loss!

In that regard I have decent news! I haven't gained any weight, even though I have been through the wringer mentally.  No major binges, either.  I haven't eaten the best everyday, but that's mostly because on bad days I'm not able to make soup, let alone a healthy meal.

I plan on coming up with easy to make healthier foods while I feel like this.  Probably tortillas, crock pot meals and so on.

Thank you guys for still reading! This blog really is my life, even if I don't always have content relevant to weight-loss.

The cookbook is in!

This past week has been a total blast!  Dan had his scheduled days off this week (he works 2 weeks on, 2 days off), but he got an extra day off so that was a bonus!  On Monday we woke up early and headed to the hospital to get blood work done and then we where free for the day!  We ended up doing some window shopping and just hanging out for the morning.  

Partway through the day we noticed my car was making noises in the front driver side wheel.  Whenever I turned left it would make a terrible grinding noise.  We took it into a shop that could get us done that day and found out I needed all new brake pads and rotors. Yikes!  We decided to get it done at the shop.  Dan is pretty handy and could do it himself, but they had a deal with the brake pads, they had a lifetime guarantee you just pay labour to replace them.  Plus Dan didn't want to waste a good hunk of his time off working on the car.  We ended up paying very little for labour and only had to wait about 2 hours to get it all done which was a lot quicker than I thought it would be!

I took this photo while waiting for the car.  My new shoes!  After talking to my physiotherapist he recommended shoes that flexed really well and had lots of space to wiggle my toes around in.  These fit the bill and are very comfortable.  Pricey, but I can see why you'd want them for running. They're Nike Free's.  I like them because my feet feel most comfortable in sock feet, so I wanted shoes that replicated that.  These are pretty close!

This past weekend I made some Bannock for Dan to take to work.  It's a Native bread  that you traditionally made and cooked over a fire by wrapping it around a stick.  Nowadays the recipe has evolved and most people either pan fry it or bake it.  I compare it to a dense biscuit.  

When I was young we used to live in Northern Saskatchewan in a predominantly native community.  In the school they would pick a few kids from each class every year and those kids would hop on a bus in the winter and drive into the woods to learn about trapping, hunting and others skills that where used by the natives in the area (correct me if I'm wrong, but I think ice fishing and ski-dooing where on the list too).  We lived there for 4 years, unfortunately by the time I was old enough to go I wasn't picked and then we moved away.  One thing I remember was the summer games the school held.  They had competitions in all sorts of things, one was the best bannock recipe.  You had to make bannock, roll it onto a stick and cook it over a fire, then it was judged.  It was probably one of the coolest schools you could go to.  My last year of school there I remember my dad taught P.E, and one spring in grade 3 he took my class out fishing.  He didn't have to teach us how to fish because all the kids grew up knowing how to fish. When we where done, most of the kids knew how to fillet the fish and cook it over coals too.  I wonder why we moved away?  I have a feeling it had to do with how pricey it was to live so far north!

Now I'm off track!  I am Metis and every once in awhile, when we had a slow evening at home my dad would break out my great aunts Bannock recipe and we'd spend all evening mixing, frying and eating!

Growing up we used to fry the bannock and eat it with Cheese Whiz, Margarine or jam. Now I like to bake it instead.  It's made with pretty much nothing but flour, water, salt, sugar and baking powder.  Some people add grated cheese, and others add blueberries.  

I don't mind making something like this once or twice a year.  It's not particularly healthy, but I find it's  important to remember family traditions.  Now I make it, but mostly so Dan can have a treat in his lunch!

Speaking of treats, I received a fantastic treat in the mail the other day....

  

 A Game of Thrones cookbook!  I was so excited I read the entire thing!  The food looks incredibly rich and very very unhealthy.  My plan is to find a suitable meal and desert for the Season 3 premiere on March 31st. I don't have much time to find and perfect a recipe, but I'm looking forward to it!

They have recipes by region and for each recipe they have a medieval version and a modern version.  I have a feeling I'll be taking the modern versions and trying to make them a touch healthier so I don't end up tipping the scales the next day!

Doesn't that look yummy?!

In other news, I've been doing a lot more walking with my new shoes.  I try to get out every day, even if it's just a short walk around the mall and then home.  Tomorrow is my first day of work in over a month and a half.  I only work a few hours, but I'm still a bit worried.  I still haven't been on my feet for hours yet.  But now my feet don't feel quite as terrible as they did before either!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone :)